After 20 years of marriage, 18 ½ years of parenting, being raised by sports people & participating in sports as a kid, I have realized that I live among sport dork a doodles.
While watching the Super Bowl yesterday, I finally and fully grasped the notion that I live in a sport dork den. Denial can only take a person so far you know?
My 1st light bulb moment was when my only daughter & youngest child asked her DAD (a.k.a. servant/slave of daughter Addison) if he would take her & her friends to the grocery store 30 minutes before Super Bowl kick off so that they could buy Super Bowl party supplies. WTF? A tweenie party 30 minutes prior to kick off? I’ve been busting my ass all afternoon to cook Super Bowl food for you dorks and now there is a party planned by our 12 year old daughter?
Thank you girls for keeping an awesome OCD account of your pop consumption.
My 2nd light bulb moment was when my youngest and most athletic son (who btw is ripped to shreds) flipped off (middle finger) the TV during the Steeler’s line up call. Sweetie, they can’t see you. Myles yells “I hate those fuckers!” at the t.v. Ok, that’s sort of sportish. I reply with a “Why do you hate the Steelers, we’re from freaking Kansas pal, who cares?” Myles simply says “Because NO one around here likes them.” Mmmmkay
So in a nutshell, this is how our house sounded last night:
Me: John, the game starts in a minute.
John: Yeah, I know. I really want to watch it because a friend of mine from high school had a cousin who played for the Steelers. SWEEET! I saw Joe fucking Namath play at Arrow Head Stadium & Elvis Presley perform at Henry Levitt Arena. But OK, if your friend’s cousin played for Pittsburgh---shit, I’m IN TOO!
John: Holy shit! False Start!
Me: Um, no that’s Off Sides (good effort John)
Myles: I hate those Pittsburg fuckers, fuck you Steelers! While flipping off TV
Me: Remind me again why you hate Pittsburg Myles.
Myles: Cuz I DO, they SUCK!
Me: Are you fucking juicing, cuz you have some real rage here pal!
Myles: OMG MOM! Are you kidding me? I love my balls! Why would you ask me THAT?"
Me: It’s my job gorilla boy, just thinking about my future grandchildren!
Addie et al: OMG! YAAAY! Score! Facebook status update: Wooo hooo! Yay Green Bay scored I heart Lady Gaga her album drops in May! (will be so happy when my girl knows where Pittsburgh & Green Bay are on a map)
WOOO HOOO Black Eyed Peas! Woooo Hooo Usher! Woo hoo, fucking shoot me.
(Blake in his room playing online games (probably Maple Story foot ball or some shit)
Alex in his room refining that whole teleportation or worm hole problem.)
John: Holy Fuck! A Safety
Me: Um, no sweetie, that’s called a conversion, but AWESOME use of profanities! Thank you God, I could NEVER be married to a man who couldn’t spin cool cuss words- that would just be gay.
John: TRAVELING! Ok, I made that up
John: Now Green Bay is just going to be conservative & run some time off the clock. OMG! How did you come up with THAT idea? Oh wait, wasn’t that exactly what the commentator just said?
I love my dork a doodles. And the one thing I know for SURE is that they are ALL good sports even if they aren’t sports fanatics & they always have my back, (line, tail & full). <3 my Dorks!