Not much original funny in my head recently, so I will just quote
copy my favorite funny things from the last few weeks.
“Would you let me have a pet unicorn if it pooped magic cupcakes?” -
daughter anonymou s. Ummm , Hell YES! Right after I sued Timothy Leary for paternity & child support.
“Well mom, since I just got my license 6 months ago, I don’t really feel like getting a job this summer.” Mmmmkay, If I didn’t love you so much & you didn't make me so damned proud everyday, I would totally re-home your ass to a refrigerator box behind Wal-Mart. –
“I have something that Shakespeare NEVER had – Penicillin” – Bo Burnham
“I hate cheese”. WTF? Who hates cheese? That’s why I get out of bed in the morning…sheesh. -Couple of anonymous people in the last few weeks.
“Laughter is the best medicine, except …medicine” -Bo Burnham again (sorry, I can’t get enough of him).
“Naw, their just pubes, you like it?"
Shit YES I like it you manly man! After asking my oldest son about a 2 day old beard. -Anonymous.