Below is the frenetic dinner conversation among my family tonight:
Addie: You have really pretty eyes Myles.
Blake: When people say that, they are referring to blue eyes.
Alex: Is that a REAL thing or an observation?
Blake: Think I read it, but it’s definitely an observation.
Addie: Did you know that people with brown hair & blue eyes are mutants?
Alex, Blake, Myles & Drea: WHAT?
Me: WHAAAT? Like Megan Fox? Really? Did you know that Megan Fox got totally canned from Transformers?
Alex: Yeah, I saw a little something about her using her cell phone during production. Was that it?
Me: Actually, she has said some disrespectful anti Semitic stuff. like: Steve runs his set like Hitler. Plus I heard she was a mutant
Alex: Shit, she HAS to be a full on mutant. What kind of idiot would say that? Doesn’t’ Steven Spielberg rule the universe?
Me: Yep, but she does have really pretty blue eyes.
Addie: Seriously, I read that if you have brown hair and blue eyes, you are a mutant.
Me: Wow, like male calico cats or something? Oh, hey twice since we have moved here I have told two girls that they have really pretty eyes. They were those really cool aqua icy eyes.
Alex: I love breakfast for dinner. This bacon is perfect.
Me: Wow, thanks! I suck at cooking bacon and the house will smell like bacon for a week you know.
Alex: That’s a GOOD thing.
Me: Yep, everything is better with bacon huh? You know what kind of eyes I REALLY love? Those cool coppery yellow eyes! Those are so awesome! Like Detective Tutuola on Law & Order SVU.
Drea: Nods in understanding.
Alex: Hmmmm, Welch’s jelly or Smucker’s jam for my toast?
Blake: I like the ease of jam, but the texture of jelly.
Me: I KNOW right? What do you guys think of preserves?
Alex: I love preserves, all those chunks and seeds, especially with strawberry.
Me: Yeah, those chunks and seeds bother me a bit.
Myles: Silent chewing.
John: Silent chewing.
Drea: Silent chewing
Addie: I’m serious, it you have blue eyes and brown hair, you are a mutant.
Thank you Loreal Golden Blond in a box. I would DIE if my 12 year old daughter knew I was a mutant.