Thursday, June 23, 2011

Keep Up or Shut Up

Below is the frenetic dinner conversation among my family tonight:

Addie:  You have really pretty eyes Myles.
Myles: Thanks.
Blake: When people say that, they are referring to blue eyes.
Alex:  Is that a REAL thing or an observation?
Blake: Think I read it, but it’s definitely an observation.
Addie:  Did you know that people with brown hair & blue eyes are mutants?
Alex, Blake, Myles & Drea: WHAT?
Me:  WHAAAT? Like Megan Fox?  Really? Did you know that Megan Fox got totally canned from Transformers?  

Alex:  Yeah, I saw a little something about her using her cell phone during production.  Was that it?
Me:  Actually, she has said some disrespectful anti Semitic stuff. like: Steve runs his set like Hitler. Plus I heard she was a mutant
Alex:  Shit, she HAS to be a full on mutant.  What kind of idiot would say that?  Doesn’t’ Steven Spielberg rule the universe?
Me:  Yep, but she does have really pretty blue eyes.
Addie:  Seriously, I read that if you have brown hair and blue eyes, you are a mutant.

Me:  Wow, like male calico cats or something? Oh, hey twice since we have moved here I have told two girls that they have really pretty eyes.  They were those really cool aqua icy eyes.

Once at the grocery & once at the gas station.  Gas station girl told me that she had heard that her dad had the same kind of eyes and thanked me Eeek, sorry gas station girl. Grocery store girl looked at me like I was going to kiss her on the lips and try to unhook her bra right there while paying for our hot pockets and bacon.

Alex: I love breakfast for dinner. This bacon is perfect.
Me:  Wow, thanks!  I suck at cooking bacon and the house will smell like bacon for a week you know.
Alex:  That’s a GOOD thing.
Me: Yep, everything is better with bacon huh? You know what kind of eyes I REALLY love?  Those cool coppery yellow eyes! Those are so awesome! Like Detective Tutuola on Law & Order SVU.

Drea: Nods in understanding.
Alex:  Hmmmm, Welch’s jelly or Smucker’s jam for my toast?
Blake:  I like the ease of jam, but the texture of jelly.
Me: I KNOW right? What do you guys think of preserves?
Alex: I love preserves, all those chunks and seeds, especially with strawberry.
Me:  Yeah, those chunks and seeds bother me a bit.
Myles:  Silent chewing.
John: Silent chewing.
Drea: Silent chewing
Addie:  I’m serious, it you have blue eyes and brown hair, you are a mutant. 

Thank you Loreal Golden Blond in a box. I  would DIE if my 12 year old daughter knew I was a mutant. 


Sandra said...

You guys had me when you labelled Megan Fox a mutant! Any time the pretty girls are brought down a peg, I'm happy! :)

Lisha @ DeLovely Life said...

My head's spinning a little bit, but it's not a bad spinning, more like "Wow, that's a lot of pop culture/genetics/craziness in one sitting." Hazel eyes are better. ;) But that probably makes me a mutant, too.

Bless My Bitchy Heart said...

Lish-Hazel eyes rock! I'm an equal opportunity eye girl. My hubster has the hazel, 2 boys with the greenies & the youngest 2 with blues and the daughter in love with brown. The only eyes I really have a problem with are those scary pink ones that albino rats & rabbits have....I sort of suck that way.