Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Cartoons, Rhymes & Child Abuse

One of my blog friends posted her review of the movie Tangled.  It was a very deep and thinky post regarding relationships etc.

Anyhoo, it reminded me of how Disney totally screwed with my head when Bambi’s mom was killed.  Then that reminded me  of how Disney completely jacked me up with Snow White as well (I know, give a mouse a cookie blah blah blah).

Evil murderous step moms, dirty hoarding midgets little people with severe allergies and obvious personality disorders (probably from mining blood diamonds and living in complete filth), invisible caskets and a douche kabob of a prince who comes in at the last minute and saves the day with a kiss, seems a little over the top for a pre-school aged kid. 

THEN that reminded me of The Real Mother Goose book that my 12 year old daughter and I often read just to get freaked out.   

 The cover alone is all kinds of wrong to me.

My daughter’s favorite is “Sing a Song of Sixpence”. She LOVES the part when the maid gets her nose bitten off by a black bird.  I personally like the part with the king eating a pie made from black birds-yummers, after counting out his money.   

I’m also partial to Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater:
Peter, Peter, pumpkin-eater,
Had a wife and couldn’t keep her;
He put her in a pumpkin shell,
And there he kept her very well. 

Awesome Peter!  First off, your name sucks.
Second off, you are a wife abusing kidnapper.
Third off, you're a seriously GUH ross dude!  You put your wife inside what you actually eat?   Might be a stretch here Pete, but I’m guessing Jeffrey Dahmer & Hannibal Lector were devoted students of your sick twisted ass. 

I could go on and on.  I'm kinda' fond of that child abusing old bitch in the shoe too. 
Tell me your favorites!


Lisha @ DeLovely Life said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lisha @ DeLovely Life said...

Noooooo! You're totally right on. Fairy tales are scary. My personal favorite scary tale is either Rumplestiltskin or Hansel and Gretel...They're all creepy.

Bless My Bitchy Heart said...

Oh my gosh I KNOW right? Hansel & Gretel is horrific! I wanted to link your site since you were my inspiration for this post, but I'm not really sure about protocol on that dealio. I'm such a newbie blogger.

Blake said...

That Baby in the basket must be for eating or something. Also don't Black Birds mean death? so it must've been written by a peasent with resentment to the royalty (most likley french). So we're teaching our kids the world's first Emo Poem...lovely

Slyde said...

i read a few of those original grims fairy tales back in the day. Thats some sick stuff...!

Bless My Bitchy Heart said...

Blake- I couldn't agree more. I have no doubt that Mother Goose is going to eat that baby in the basket!