Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Bring on the Vampires

I can hardly wait! Only 23 more days until school is out!   I  LOVE summer break. There are SO many benefits.

First and foremost -Vampire Hours! (alarm clocks forbidden)
  1. No washing school clothes.
3.  No folding socks (socks are also forbidden in Vampireland) Ok, I haven’t folded a kid sock since Christmas, but digging for sock matches like gold in clothes baskets increases I.Q.-(pretty sure I saw that on The Discovery Channel).  
4.  No ass kicking homework. 
5. Catching up on my beloved late night reality TV.

With vampire hours during summer break, it’s almost the same as the kids being in school all day, minus all the shitty stuff. 

 Just a random vampire pic, let's just call it "The Mommy Vampire"

Admittedly, there are a few cons to summer break, for instance the food issue. The $2.00 per diem for each school lunch has to be replaced by pot roast or cheese burgers for their mid night lunch.  But I figure I make up that expense in my water bills since they will only shower if they have plans that night, plus less laundry-did I mention NO sock washing or folding?  

We will also have countless kids over during vampire hours, which will add to the late night noise level, and  force the mortal father of the vampires to wear ear plugs in order to get a decent night’s sleep so he can go to his non vampire job to put pot roast & burgers on the table.  (Yes, our vampires and their vampire friends eat real food, I know you were probably questioning that earlier.)  Do we discriminate against non vampires during summer break?  Yes. Suck it the hell up. I mean deal with it.  

In addition, there will be entertainment expenses for the vamps, i.e. movies, bowling, mall-ing,  gold gasoline, etc.  But again, I’m confidant that I will make all that up by not having to build or buy supplies for castles, piñatas and WWII radar dishes, or pay late fees to the library, co-pays to ER for science fair shit gone wrong and field trips.

So it’s ALL good! Again, can’t wait for the vampires! And Toddlers in Tiaras and Animal Hoarders at 2:00 am.    

Another random.  My personal favorite vamp of all time. 

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