Wednesday, March 16, 2011

What's yo name?

My daughter scored her first little boy friend this year.  His name is Alex.  Of course his name is Alex. What the hell else would it be?  After all, her oldest brother’s name is Alex and two of his best friends are named Alex.  In addition her youngest brother’s best friend’s name is Alex and she has a 2nd cousin named Alex. 

My Alex has gone ONLY by his last name since 7th grade (no one could keep track even with the initial attached thingie).  It would be alright if our last name was something semi-cool like “Worthington, Windsor, Kennedy, Onasis, Rockefeller, Sloan” etc. But our last name is “Hamby”.  That is pronounced: HAM –as in the kind you eat on Easter, and BEE – like the kind that sting you. So my oldest son has been known only as Hamby since he was 13 years old.  I have had friends and even teachers call me & ask for “HAM BEE” on the phone. Nothing wrong with the name, but for a FIRST name….I dunno, not feeling it.

Thankfully, I think he is a beautiful kid, so he can pull it off.  Below is a picture (yes I'm biased, bite me if you disagree. I am totally sure that whole statute of limitation thing for stealing a pretty kid in the baby ward has run out).

My very favorite thing is when a friend of my son says “Hi Mrs. Hamby, is Hamby here? That’s so COOL that you would name your kid the same name as your LAST name.”  Please call the fucking dumb police. Below is another picture of my Alex & his beautiful girl.   Her name is Andrea (pronounced ON Dray UH), but I'm sure you can imagine the ridicule she faces if/when they get married-Andi Hamby....good Gawd help her.

Now what I think makes our unusual last name EXTRA fucking special, is that my name is Tammie (which I have always felt was a fat girl name), but next to Hamby is just SO awesome!  I’m sure you can imagine the ridicule on that. Full on Dr. Seuss material at best.  Tam Ham, Tambo Hambo, Tammie Hammie, Tamby Hamby-----ALL FAT GIRL GRAIN FED NAMES! 

SO-Shortly after marrying, I went back to my given name of Tamara in an attempt to avoid the ridicule. I was so tired of seeing people hide their laughter upon saying Tammie Hamby out loud or worse-saying “WOW is that really your name?”.  Of course that has brought on 19 years of people mis pronouncing my given name-GAWD!  It’s such a fucking chore. I’ve been called Tuh MARE uh (like a horse), Tuh MAR uh (not today, but tomorrow). It's just TAMRA (Like that super hot Real House Wife of Orange County) with a little extra short vowel in the middle (Tam ah ruh) is that so hard?

Do you have any weird name stories?  I kinda want to start a club.  Hit me up if so! 


Slyde said...

i used to go to school with a girl named Nancy Clancy. i always felt bad for her.

p.s. you're gorgeous.

Bless My Bitchy Heart said...

Slyde-Hehehehe! I LOVE Nancy Clancy! Was she fat?

Slyde said...

nope, not fat.

just not attractive.

at all.

Lisha @ DeLovely Life said...

Uh, yes. My first name is Elysia. That's uh-lish-uh. I've been called everything from Elisha (like the Biblical Elisha), Eli, Alicia, uh-leeesh-uh...It really never ends. Totally feel for you. Tam Ham...Ech. I'm sorry.

B said...

At least you're not Julia Gouhlia...also I went to school with a Crystal Chanda Lear! I would go Menendez on my parents.