The other night my 15 year old boy came down stairs in a seriously foul mood. A Damnit MOM! Why the hell do you ALWAYS think something’s WRONG? Mood.
After some prodding, it turned out that he was on Formspring and the entire universe hated him because they believed he broke the bro code or man code or some sort of important code shit.
Having no idea what he was talking about, I demanded that he show me this destroyer of children. WOW! It is a question-and-answer-based social website, launched in November 2009. The site allows its users to set up a profile page, (got that from Wiki). But it also allows people to post comments anonymously! How awesome is THAT? Oh, I’ll tell ya- It’s like seeing your name on a fucking (had to get that word in) bathroom wall every 60 seconds WITH responses! Basically kids ripping each other apart online.
After about an hour of reading this shit, I did the whole good mom thing & told my son that he HAD to get rid of this evil Formspring black tar demon because it was totally consuming and ruining his life. I explained to him that if I had one of these accounts, I would spend my entire life on it just to see the shit people were saying about me. Now go grab me a Corona sweetie while I read some more posts from these DOUCHENOZZLES (that’s my new word, do you love it or what?).
Things have worked out just fine. Myles has given up Formspring. He is also officially dating the girl that caused the universe to hate him. She is a straight A student, very polite, well mannered, super cute & she told me I was pretty the other day- that's what I call good catch! (Smart girls know how to suck up). Unfortunately, she is ANOTHER cougar Damnit Myles, but only by one school year. Also only one kid hates him now and that is the cougar’s ex boyfriend.
AND as an added bonus-Myles has given up super skinny jeans this week! He told me “you just can’t pull that shit off unless you have a small package.” I’m SO proud of him for making good decisions these days! AND there is just something so rewarding when your high school son no longer shares jeans with his 12 year old sister.