Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Calm Down While I Patronize You (Boys vs. Girls)


Couple weeks ago:

Me:  Addie, I want you to clean your room today.
Addie:  OKAY MOM! CALM DOWN!
WTF?

A week later:

Me:  In my sweet voice- Addie, Will you please clean your room, we worked REALLY hard on it a couple weeks ago & it’s getting trashy again.
Addie:  OMG MOM!  CALM DOWN! I WILL!

Another week later:

Me:  Come on Ad puke on the syrup in my voice, I really think you should clean your room, it’s getting SO narl.
Addie:  I know, I know, just CALM DOWN!

Today:

Me:  Blake & Myles I need you to come down stairs.
Blake:  What? You have a chore?
Me: Yep, a shitty one.
Blake:  MYLES! MOM WANTS US FOR A CHORE, COME DOWN!
Myles:  What? Do we have to clean dog shit in the back yard? Yeah that once a year chore when your dad’s out of town you poor things.

Me:  Yep, here are your gloves & bags. 



Blake:  Ok      ♫ Awesome!♪
Myles: Ok      ♫ Awesome ♪

5 minutes later:

Myles:  You could have had us come out when it was still day light. Awe you sweet thing.

Me:  Oh honey, that’s no fun!  Consider it an Easter egg hunt in the dark….Wow! Look at that, you just found a treasure trove! GOOD EYE!

Blake: sigh, good try mom, this still sucks, but we love you.

Earlier today I saw a stranger mom at the grocery with her baby in their over flowing cart along with her teen aged 14 ish daughter. She asked the daughter to grab some bologna. The teenager grabbed some random lunchables & string cheese instead.  The mom told her to put it back & guess what the daughter said….yep you guessed it……”Okay! CALM DOWN MOM!”


I punched that brat in the back of the head & told her clean her room and her mom totally high fived me.  Ok, that high 5 part was imaginary, but she made that understanding eye contact with me. She knew I had her back. 

2 comments:

Dazee Dreamer said...

aaahhh, the teenage years. I remember them fondly. ok, not fondly, but thank god they get older

Shabbygal said...

All I can say is I'm so glad my boys are 20 and 21 now! I do have two stepsons 18 and 13 so I'm starting over!Should have my head examined! The younger one lives with mom most of the time it is the 18 year old I pray daily will figure out fast what he wants to do,since he is content working at Arby's and has no desire to go to college or move out. I told hubby I will probably move out before him! Just kidding!