Saturday, August 27, 2011

Hillbillies and Death

Tonight we had another frenetic conversation in my house.  We all fight for talk time around here.  So it’s more like a verbal sword fight than family conversation. 

Myles my youngest son (15):  Mom I’ve never been to Arkansas!? Blake says I’ve been to Arkansas.

Hubster:  Yes you have hillbilly boy! That’s where you were born!  I’m sorry, didn’t you know that?  It was a really nice shed with a clean mattress….  

Me: SHUT the hell up John GAWL!   Yes you’ve been to Arkansas Myles. We went to that cave where you guys got those cool $25.00 hats. I think you were around 3 ½.  It was that trip that you almost drown in the hotel pool in Shell Knob, Mo because your dad & grandma were chatting up the hotel manager while I was taking care of your infant sister. I had to jump in the pool fully clothed to grab you…don’t you remember that?  And aren’t I a bad ass super hero mom?  

Myles:  What?  Shit! Just how many times have I almost died?  

Below is a random pic of shed born hillbilly boy.

Me:  Well, honestly, I’ve lost count.  But you & all of your siblings have almost died if you want to look at it that way.  Lots of dodged bullets & spooky stuff, but I like to think that you all are lucky; you in particular.  Surviving that whole hit by a car dealio while riding your bike was pretty awesome don’t cha think?  Oh and living through that Swine Flu, I mean H1N1 shit a couple years ago was pretty awesome. 

And last year you totally dumped that cougar that was rumored to have the herps right before you got too involved with her.  Ok, that wasn’t almost death, but it would have been death to your social life for ummm I dunno, FOREVER!  By the way, you still need to thank your older bro for that tip.  Suck it up buttercup!  You’re tough! You're Neo or Odysseus or some super tough shit that runs on my side of the family you bad ass mofo.

Another random pic of bullet dodger boy below.

My youngest son is my Macaulay Culkin, & fills me with angst most days.  However, he is also my muse & is responsible for one of my most memorable quotes, shortly before this photograph was taken-

"Tell Papa to get out of that box and take me fishin"- Myles Hamby  While in the hubster's arms at my dad's funeral and the only time I have ever seen tears on my husband's face. 



B said...

That first pic of him sitting down, he looks like one of those random Target Sunday newspaper model dudes...good thing he dodged them fuckin herps, he might have a future modeling for Target, or JCP or some shit!

Bless My Bitchy Heart said...

B-I have to admit to a sense of pride for the herps dodge...that's just damned good parenting don't cha' think? Thanks for the Target & JCP reference in lieu of A & F. That would just make me sad. Thanks for comment neph.

Lisha @ DeLovely Life said...

Herpes..the gift that keeps on giving. That quote at the end is so sweet..Makes me want to cry. I love how it's so obvious that you're crazy about your family. :) And you're all a little crazy. Takes one to know one. Ha!

Amanda said...

reading the last of this post brought tears to my own eyes! myles will always be that sweet little babe to me! (even tho I remember him jumping on his brother to tackle him from a crawling position, the same holiday blake accidentally called the police from M&T's bedroom!)

Lisha @ DeLovely Life said...

Where are you, friend? Hope you're doing alright!