Music, Kids & Moms

Having 3 teenagers and one tween, my music listening mostly leans toward top 40.  I like to believe that I’m open minded when it comes to music, BUT today in the car I was actually laughing out loud over Bruno Mars’ new song Grenade. I immediately came home & looked up the lyrics because I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

Please note that I like Bruno Mars. I love his ft dealio on Billionaire as well as his Just the Way You Are song.  Both songs are cute to me. But this Grenade song is so pathetic it’s funny.   

I like the melody & always sing along to it, but today I found myself mentally replying as if one of my sons were actually singing this shit.

It went a little something like this:

Bruno or Myles/Blake: “I’d catch a grenade for ya” ♫

Me: “WTF? That’s what they call ugly skanks on Jersey Shore. I thought I raised you better than that.”

Bruno or Myles/Blake: “Throw my hand on a blade for ya” ♪

Me:  “Great! You’re a fucking cutter now? Couldn’t you choose a more masculine form of self mutilation like wall punching or eyeball tattoos?”

Bruno or Myles/Blake: “I’d jump in front of a train for ya” ♫

Me: “Jesus Christ! If I was your girlfriend & you said that shit to me, I would jump in front of a fucking train myself.”

Bruno or Myles/Blake: I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain. ♪

Me:  “Oh come ON drama queen! Based on your previous comments, I’m pretty sure you’re mentally challenged enough, no need for brain bullets.”

Bruno or Myles/Blake:  “Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb
Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you're from.” ♫

Me: *giant exhale* For God’s sake, grow a pair & dump that skank before your mother starts tossing grenades.

Thank you Bruno Mars for helping me illustrate everything I DON'T want my boys to be you wuss! ♫